India

India awakened me from a deep slumber
I was lost in a sea of dreams
false hopes and ideals swept me under
didn't know how to break through the surface.

Lost in a sea of grief, my painful past,
never knew how to free myself from fear and loneliness
was loved always, but did not know how to love myself
gave confidence, gave dependence to my loved ones
thinking they will hold me tight and never let me go
afraid of dark shadows of my loneliness.

Money, success, career, stability I wanted for myself and others,
ran blinded towards things I gave so much meaning to,
and when achieved, my heart was void and aching to be filled
with something, I don't know what, something beautiful and true,
was yearning, searching, and seeking, for this something,
I don't know what.

Then one blessed day in Khajuraho
a cut of my arm caused by a scooter accident
and jagged rocks dug up on the road,
my red blood river ran free,
dripping down my arm to kiss the earth
and my mother, my Goddess spoke to me,
I finally heard her voice,
my love came to me
my third eye opened
my heart overflowing with feelings I cannot dam up
tears flowing down my face with abandon
Not of sadness, but pure joy and blessing.

Thank you mother Goddess, thank you for giving me a new life
I know now why I was brought to this earth
Why I was given so much pain and suffering
Now mother, my Goddess,
gifted onto me the most precious gift of all
Loving oneself, unconditionally,
and giving me my love who loves me the same
One heart, one love, one feeling, I am so blessed.

I walked barefoot and climbed up to a Shiva temple,
from the streets of Chitrakoot,
a holy city where God Rama dwelled during his exile
with this beautiful wife Sita,
I waded barefoot in holy waters in the cave temple,
rocks digging into my bare feet,
I was happy to breath in hot damp air in that cave temple,
I felt Her love and spirit,
At temple in Kalinjer Fort, my heart knew this holy place,
from my past life,
I bathed my forehead, my hair, my hands, my feet in Her water
and I was healed.
I walked, I worshiped, I breathed,
my love for Her flew out and over the sky,
my heart at peace with mantras swirling around me,
blessed be.

Money, power, success, what are these that drive us blinded
Mean nothing to me, I would not trade my love, my inner peace for anything
Found meaning in this life, I want to give love and hope to those in need.
If I can open their eyes to love oneself and see the Goddess within our hearts
Then I will share this knowledge, my Goddess' gift,
I will share with one and all until my last breath of this life ceases to be,
but will forever be embraced in my Mother's arms.

In Varanasi, waiting on our mother Sun to rise,
on a small wooden boat rowed by boatman and his big bamboo paddles,
I gave a gift of flower and tea light candle to our mother Ganga,
Floating the gift on Mother's open hands, I set my heart free to fly,
I wished for the good of India and its people, I wished for their happiness,
India gifted me and I wanted to return it my love and gratitude
I am free to love and to be happy and in the end, that's all that matters in life.